I just need to let it go...

SO Goblin's sperm donor hasn't called or even TRIED to contact him in about a year. Last contact was when Goblin stayed there when I went to CA last year to take Shorty to the Tiger Cruise. We tried calling for his b-day to see if they were coming up. I thought I was over it.

His wife is on of my "friends" on Myspace, his mom comes up to visit (she was just here this past weekend and is coming back up next weekend) so its not like he is clueless about what is happening with us.

This morning I was bored and thought I would look to see if he had Myspace. I mean, his wife does so its not totally out of the realm of possibility, right?

He does. No big, not a helluva lot on there of any substance. Then I made the mistake of looking at the pics. There aren't many, but the ones of the kids are just his step-kids and his youngest. WTF happened to the other two boys he has fathered? I understand that he would have some of his youngest and his wife's middle son because they live there with them, but his wife's oldest lives with his Dad and there are pics of him on there. Goblin obviously lives with me and we are a couple hours drive away, so that's not that big of a deal. He doesn't have many of Goblin because he hasn't seen him in a freakin year!. His middle son lives with his mom and they live in the same damn town! Why aren't there pics of him?

HE even has the nerve to say something along the lines of loving being a Dad in the blurb about himself on his Myspace page. Why doesn't he care about Goblin? Why does he have to break MY SON'S heart like this! I know it hurts Goblin that the sperm donor is such an @$$. I could so kill that right now.

He's never been much of a presence in Goblin's life. He disappeared when I was pregnant. When we moved back to WA the first time after DH and I got married he was around a little bit then disappeared to CO for awhile. When we moved back here this time, he made an effort till his youngest son was born and then its like Goblin and his other son just didn't matter anymore.

I am not a person to have regrets about anything, but the more and more I think about it, the more I regret that push for Goblin to "know" his sperm donor. On one hand I hate that he has hurt my baby like this but on the other hand I am glad that Goblin knows what he really is.